Parenting Week 8

 REMEMBER:

know that growth requires a lot of the following:

• Self-honesty.
• Awareness.
• Avoiding the fear that comes from repenting and changing.

• What apologies do you need to make? (Perhaps they are grudges you've held against others that have wronged you.)

I have realized that one of my sisters annoys me and I don't really know why. I normally have a reason for being annoyed but I cannot think why I expect the worst from her. Perhaps I am a bit jealous. She has no idea I feel this way so I am not sure that it would do any good to apologize. 

• How can you "take off your shoes" to create a space for your children or others who are running? Meaning, what can you do to create a space to invite your children to come back, even if for a moment?
• How can you stay out of the box when you are hungry or tired?

I have thought about this a lot before I read this book and I had no understanding of the box or how to stay out of it. I have however noticed that I (and others) tend to make justifications for treating others poorly when we are tired and/ or hungry.
When this would happen at work, I would justify my poor behavior because others would get really cranky when they were tired and it felt like they didn't care how their negative behavior was affecting me. So I would react. Now that I realize what it looks and feels like to be "in the box", I am hoping that I can choose to stay out of the box. 

• Are you willing to see your own issues before you see others? 

I have been noticing that when books and movies don't want you to like a character they give you very little backstory on them. I do the same thing when I do not want to like somebody. I need to do better at giving people the benefit of the doubt.

*...as parents, it is not your job to control, fix, or even change your children. Because we can't really control our children anyhow, at least in the ways that matter. A wife cannot change a husband. A parent cannot change a child.

*The difference between read, study, and ponder:

 "Serve with the Spirit (Links to an external site.)," President Henry B. Eyring offered this counsel regarding pondering:

"Our humility and our faith that invite spiritual gifts are increased by our reading, studying, and pondering the scriptures. We have all heard those words. Yet we may read a few lines or pages of scripture every day and hope that will be enough."

"But reading, studying, and pondering are not the same. We read words and we may get ideas. We study and we may discover patterns and connections in scripture. But when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit. Pondering, to me, is the thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying in the scriptures carefully."

GOALS:

1. How to detect the boxes or justifications we carry around much of the time.
2. The relationship between repentance, growth mindset, and getting out of the box.
3. The importance of pondering and meditation in seeing ourselves and our children more clearly.
4. How to influence, persuade, invite, and entice others—especially our own children—to change and become better.

• READ We Believe in Being Chaste by Elder Bednar

None of us likes to admit when we are drifting off the right course. Often we try to avoid looking deeply into our souls and confronting our weaknesses, limitations, and fears. Consequently, when we do examine our lives, we look through the filter of biases, excuses, and stories we tell ourselves in order to justify unworthy thoughts and actions."

"Lord, Is It I? (Links to an external site.)" Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

*RE-READ THIS TALK